How Mentoring Transforms Both the Mentee and the Mentor

For the past three years, May has been a mentor in Apex for Youth’s Manhattan Middle School Mentoring Program (MSMP). Known for her warmth and steady presence, she has supported her mentee through milestones big and small, from art audition prep to year-end projects, while also becoming a positive force for the entire group.

Atiya Khan, MSMP Program Manager, has seen the impact firsthand: “May does a beautiful job of striking the balance between encouraging and supporting her mentee while also guiding her to practice personal responsibility. This year, we got to witness her not only mentor her mentee but also become a strong mentor for all the mentees in her group, bringing an irreplaceable, infectious energy to MSMP.”

Finding Her Way to Apex

May’s journey with Apex began during the COVID-19 pandemic, a time when conversations about Asian American identity and belonging were in the spotlight. She had always wanted to give back to the Asian American community, something she herself would have cherished when she was younger. So when she came across a friend’s Instagram post about Apex, she didn’t hesitate.

What started as a search for a meaningful connection quickly became something more. Over the course of three years, May has found herself not just mentoring but also growing alongside her mentee.

When May first met her mentee, Xu Lan, she noticed a vibrant, social personality that sometimes hid behind hesitation when it came to presenting or speaking up. Over time, she watched that shyness transform into confidence. By seventh and eighth grade, her mentee was more willing to share her ideas and showcase her interests in front of others.

For May, being part of that transformation has been deeply rewarding. Mentorship, she’s learned, isn’t about grand gestures; It’s about showing up, listening, and giving space for a young person to grow at their own pace.

The experience has also shifted May’s own perspective. She adds, “As an adult, it’s easy to get caught up in the grind. But my mentee’s enthusiasm has inspired me to adopt a growth mindset and try new things. She’s helped me reconnect with my own curiosity and creativity.”

When asked about her favorite memories, May highlights the day she and her mentee took a trip to Dumbo as part of a year-end project. It was one of the first times her mentee had explored outside her neighborhood, and the day was filled with laughter, skyline views, and even a Shake Shack stop.

Advice To Volunteers

For anyone thinking about becoming a mentor, May offers simple but powerful advice:

“Just be there for your mentee. Every child is different, but being a consistent presence makes the biggest impact. It’s not about planning the flashiest outing; it’s about showing up. That’s what I would’ve appreciated most as a kid, and I think that’s what matters most now.”

May’s story is a reminder that mentorship is never one-way. It’s a partnership of encouragement, discovery, and growth for both youth and mentors. If you are looking for volunteer opportunities, learn more about Apex here!