She Grew Up Without Asian Representation. Now She Became the Mentor She Wished She Had. 

When Athenie Shi had friends over for dinner in Indiana, she asked her mom to skip her favorite tomato egg dish and make pasta instead.

“I asked my mom to make ‘American’ food so I could fit in,” she remembers.

Athenie grew up in the Midwest without much of an Asian community around her. Without anyone to show her another way, she came to believe that being different meant hiding or shrinking her identity. “I wished I had mentors who understood my culture and experiences, and a safe place to feel like myself,” she says.

She wasn’t alone. 66% of Asian adults recall a time growing up when they wanted a mentor but didn’t have one.

Today, as an Apex for Youth mentor, Athenie helps Asian American youth in NYC find that support much earlier.

Finding Mentors Who Looked Like Her

It wasn’t until her first job after college that Athenie found her mentor who looked like her. A Managing Director on another team, who was also Asian, went out of his way to check in on her, even though they never worked together directly. He answered every question she had without judgment.

“I realized representation wasn’t just nice to have,” Athenie says. “It actively changes how a youth sees their own potential and confidence.”

He saw more possibility in her than she saw in herself. Years later, he became an Apex donor because he knew how much Apex meant to her.

Paying it forward

“I had mentors who changed the course of my life, and I wanted to pay that forward,” Athenie says. She chose Apex for Youth because it brings together mentoring and Asian American representation.

She joined in 2021 as a high school mentor. When her mentee graduated, a year early, Athenie spent a year teaching yoga to elementary schoolers, then three years in Middle School Mentoring.

After her first year, she joined the Hội đồng liên kết. Being around so many people who genuinely want to shape youths’ lives made her want to build that same sense of community for volunteers.

The community gave her more than she expected. “I’ve met some of the most compassionate, intelligent people I know through Apex events, friends I’m genuinely grateful for,” she says. “Being around the Associate Board has pushed me to think bigger, laugh harder, and give back more than I would have on my own.”

Running With a Community in Her Corner

“Growing up, I never thought I could run a marathon because I wasn’t the most athletic,” Athenie says.

She has now run the NYC Marathon twice for Apex.

She never trained alone. Apex runners met weekly for speed workouts, and seeing people show up rain or shine made her want to show up too. On race day, the Apex marathon cheer zone gave her the boost she needed. “It’s electric,” she says, and seeing friends from the Associate Board and volunteer programs along the course kept her going.

More than 50 people gave across both races: family, best friends, coworkers, Associate Board members who already give so much to Apex, and people she hadn’t talked to in years. One gift she still thinks about came from an old professor, who gave $1,000 to her page and $1,000 to her husband Anthony’s page, which fundraised for Apex alongside her during her first marathon. In total, Athenie raised more than $6,000 for Apex youth.

“Having that community in my corner proved to me that I could run,” she says.

Becoming the Mentor She Wished She Had 

For Alina, Athenie became the mentor she wished she’d had growing up. “I want Apex youth to be proud of being Asian, to have real resources to succeed, and to have people who look like them in their corner,” she says.

They met when Alina was in sixth grade. Alina loved Minecraft and bubble tea, but she didn’t speak up much at first in workshops. Athenie and Alina became friends with another mentor pair, and their outings, including mini golf, escape rooms and McDonald’s, became a small community of their own.

By eighth grade, Alina was raising her hand and jumping into every discussion. “Apex created a safe and welcoming environment for mentees to be themselves, to answer with confidence and without judgment,” Athenie says. “Watching her bold personality actually come through was one of my favorite things about mentoring her.”

Athenie found her people in her 20s. Alina found hers in sixth grade.

The learning went both ways. Athenie’s high school mentee, Khadiza, graduated a year early by taking on extra credits and classes. “There’s something genuinely inspiring about watching a teenager set a goal like that, work hard, and succeed,” Athenie says.

In 2022, the two were selected for an American Eagle AAPI Month campaign with Apex. Athenie still remembers picking out clothes together and hearing Khadiza explain what the month meant to her: making sure every Asian culture gets seen, not just one.

Abundance Begins When Someone Sees More in You

Athenie’s journey moves from receiving to giving, from a child who felt she had to shrink to a mentor who helps youth take up space. 

“I feel abundant at Apex because I’m surrounded by people who push me to think bigger, laugh harder, and give back more, and because the youth teach me as much as I teach them“.

Athenie’s story reminded us that when young people recognize what they have — as opposed to what they don’t — they begin to see what’s possible.

The people standing beside them. The strengths they already carry. The choices they can make. And the future they can create.

Abundance is knowing you’re not alone. It’s having someone in your corner. It’s believing more is possible.

Expand Our Youth’s Abundance

The “model minority” myth tells us that Asian Americans are universally thriving.

In reality, 1 in 2 Asian American youth in NYC live in or near poverty.
Many young people face compounding and invisible pressures as a result of their low-income Asian American immigrant identities — from the strain and added pressure of financial hardship to experiences of racism and solely shouldering adult responsibilities without support.

Yet their needs are too often overlooked.

At Apex, we create a web of support that connects Asian American youth from low-income and immigrant backgrounds to the people, opportunities, and resources that help address these pressures, through mentors like Athenie.

This National Mentoring Day, we’re celebrating Athenie and every mentor who shows up, week after week, whether through their time, their voice, or their fundraising.

Today marks the start of Giving Season.
This Giving Tuesday, December 1, expand our youth’s abundance. Make an early gift today.